- A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:
- "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."
- "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
- "Can you hear me NOW?"
- "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"
- "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
- "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
- "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
- "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey...."
- "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
- "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
- "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
- "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
- "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"
Trying to cheer everyone up
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Fire Alarm
The fire alarm went off last night. At first I thought it was one of the drunk "ladies" that just wanted to wake up one of the tenants to let her…
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Fighting
Ugggh! This morning at 5:00 AM a fight broke out in the apartment building. I shouldn't say 'a' fight since there had to be two fights going on. The…
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Errands and gossip.
I took my neighbor to her nail appointment this morning. After that, we ran some errands. I actually enjoy taking her. It allows me some social…
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