Gregory Sare Landolt (gregoid) wrote,
Gregory Sare Landolt

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Living Life

I normally joke around and have fun on LiveJournal. This entry is going to be of a serious nature. I was chatting with stevenh and the topic of suicide came up. More specifically that suicide is one crime, which a person can commit and never be arrested for. I mentioned to him that I don't know why the authorities don't arrest people for attempted suicide. After all, it is attempted murder.

If they actually did arrest people for attempted suicide then I would have been arrested many times.

Please don't stop reading because of the content. You might some day have to deal with a friend or loved one that is thinking about or has attempted suicide.

I don't believe that suicide should be a topic that is not discussed. It is the silence that gets people killed. All too often there are children, teens, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, adults, and strangers that are asking for help. The problem is that they never actually use the word "help." This makes catching these small cries for help extremely difficult.

Real life example: Two boys are sitting next to each other and they are punching each other in the arms and the legs, calling each other names, and generally acting like brats. The gentleman in the room says, "If my son were like you two, I'd shoot myself." To which one of the boys replied, "Why don't you just shoot the son instead?"

Right there is a cry for help. "Why don't you shoot the son instead?" Most people might not catch that there is anything wrong and would dismiss this question as weird and not give it any thought.

The truth is that it did happen and I was one of the two boys roughhousing. A good friend of mine was the other boy who asked the question. When I heard those words come out of his mouth, I turned to him and said, "Let's go outside. We need to talk." When we got outside I flat out asked him if he was thinking about killing himself. He tried to play it off as if everything was cool. I knew better. I had been there before and recognized the cry for help. About 15 minutes later, he confessed that he was going to drive his car at top speed and ram it into the court building where one of the streets came to an end, that night.

We talked the rest of the night and he is alive and well today. This is all because I didn't dismiss this little cry for help.

Here are some more warning alarms:

  • I wish I were dead.

  • I just want to go away.

  • Somebody shoot (kill, stab) me.

  • I'm all alone.

  • Just take me now.

  • Life isn't worth living.

  • Nobody cares if I live or die.

We have all heard people say these things or at least something similar. Are they joking or is there a little bit of truth to the statement? The only way to know for sure is to confront the person. It might just be a flash of despair. Most people feel suicidal at least once in their lifetime. It is how people deal with the thoughts of suicide that is important. Not everybody that thinks of suicide will actually follow through and attempt suicide.

Suicide happens when the threshold of pain exceeds the coping skills to deal with that pain.

The biggest help you can be to someone who is suicidal, is to help him or her increase his or her coping skills. A support network of family and friends that they can call or get in contact with is a great way to tip the scales away from suicide. Just being able to talk about what is bothering them can release so much of the helplessness that is overwhelming the person. The thing to remember is not to tell the person that they are stupid for feeling the way they do. Those feelings are real, no matter how illogical they sound. If you dismiss the feelings that they are having, they might just shut you out and not listen anymore.

If you hear a warning signal or small cry for help, don't dismiss it. Waiting until tomorrow to talk could be one night too late. This time it could just be thinking about suicide, but not actually planning on doing anything about it. If enough of these thoughts of suicide and small cries for help go by unnoticed or dismissed, the pain could become overwhelming and the actual suicide attempt is made.

I want to thank you for reading down this far. I know what it is like to have so much pain that I couldn't deal with it anymore. I have attempted suicide over 10 times. 4 of those times were so severe that I almost died. The doctors are amazed that I'm still alive. My last suicide attempt was 6 years ago in 1996. I am happy to say that I am alive!

If I weren't here now, I would not have been able to meet such wonderful people as all of you. I look forward each day to sharing my life with others. Life is nothing if you can't share it with someone else. If you don't share your life you are just existing, not living. I wake up each morning knowing that I will interact with someone that will link our two lives together. I never know if the interaction will be a good thing or bad thing, but being able to share a piece of your life with someone else will have some kind of impact, no matter how small, on that person.

I'm glad to be alive!

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