Damn! Damn! Damn! This Sux!
Why can't I just hold on to the happy memories of him and let the other crap go. I still see him falling out of that crane. I wasn't even there! That didn't seem to stop my mind from creating that scene which endlessly plays over and over in my head. I can hear his laughter as if he were in the same room. I can hear his voice clear as a bell. I can clearly see his face in my mind. Yet, those memories fade for a bit and are replaced by a non-real , self-created video that tortures my soul and tears at my heart.
I want to be happy. I want to remember the good things about Cos. I don't want to see these bad images anymore. I just want them to STOP!!!