Gregory Sare Landolt (gregoid) wrote,
Gregory Sare Landolt

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Dealing with a crisis

I find it very strange that I become completely calm and relaxed when I help others through different crisises, but I can't seem to do the same when I have crisis. It seems to be a built in mechanism that allows me to put the needs of others before mine. I have seen it happen time and time again. I can forego sleep, eating, money, and even my health to help someone out. What I get in return is something beyond words. I don't know if this will make any sense, but it fills my soul with peace, joy and contentment. To have made a difference in someone's life is an incredible feeling to me. That is why I don't mind being woken up at 2 in the morning or traveling for hours to see someone.

My mood and outlook can literally change within a matter of minutes or seconds. I have the uncanny ability to set aside all the things that are bothering me and focus on the person that I'm helping. I also like the little vacation I get to take from my own problems. I know why this happens. Because I empathize so much with others, I have to temporarily shut off some of my processes to handle the incoming feelings and emotions from the person that I'm helping.

Knowing how the other person is feeling, allows me to understand so much more about how that person is thinking or perceiving the problem at hand. Gestures and facial expressions tell me volumes of information. I am getting better at sensing feelings and emotions through online chatting, but I'm limited by what I am told by the other person.

Now if I can only figure out a way to turn on both the output of my emotions during a crisis I have as well as the input to sense and evaluate what I'm feeling, I would have no problem in working out my issues.

Actually I have done this on occasion, but not recently. I almost split myself into two parts. The second part I refer to as Shadow. Shadow is a darker more direct and analytical part of me that is not completely void of feeling, but pretty close. I can actually carry on complete and logical discussions with Shadow.

Now I'd like to say right now that I'm not psychotic or have split personalities. I also don't hear voices. I'm well aware that this is all me, and that Shadow doesn't really exist as a separate entity in my head. Now the pencils...they talk to me ;-) j/k hahaha

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