I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm rambling. My thoughts are all jumbled up. I didn't realize how much this would affect me making this decision.
I wanted to share this decision with my friends. This is perhaps the most frightening thing that I have decided to do besides going into the Navy. I'm experiencing the same nervousness and butterflies in my stomach that I experienced going into the Navy. I survived my first day in the Navy, where my butterflies were replaced with something else. I know I will get through this as well.
I believe that this is the last major hurdle that I haven't attempted to leap. I plan on writing a letter to my father that I intend to read while I'm there. I know that it makes no difference where I read the letter because he is no longer with his body. And since he was cremated, there isn't even a body. But seeing his marker is the symbol I need to make his death a reality.