Gregory Sare Landolt (gregoid) wrote,
Gregory Sare Landolt

  • Mood:

I don't feel at home anymore.

I was lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling and it occurred to me that I don't feel at home here. I don't think I ever really have.

There are a lot of different reasons floating through my head, but I can't seem to pin down a specific one.

  • Feeling of isolation

  • Feeling of loneliness

  • Not wanting to personalize the walls

  • Not feeling pride in the place

  • Not having a feeling of belonging

Looking at this list shows a theme of depression. Maybe it's just depression that is making me feel like this is not a home, but we've lived here for many years. I can't see that depression has been the reason all this time. I guess it could be. Although I felt at home in the last place that we lived and I dealt with depression then.

I don't know. No answers seem to be forthcoming during this sleepless night.
Tags: bi-polar (manic-depression)

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