Driving is a great way for me to relax and let my mind wander and work out any problems that have led to my needing to get away. But now, watching the needle drop on the gas gauge causes another needless worry to be added to my un-at-ease mind.
I will be driving to Yarmouth, Nova Scotia on the 28th of this month and I have yet to hear from the lawyers as to when they want to do the deposition. There are only 2 weeks left before I leave, and I'll be gone for 4 weeks. I did call my lawyer and let his daughter (his legal assistant) know that I'll be leaving in 2 weeks. She said that she would contact the other lawyers and try for next week.
I hate not knowing when things are going to happen. I'm an organized person and when I just have to sit and wait to hear when something will happen, it drives me nuts.
I don't know what it is about dates and times that cause me to freak out sometimes. A lot of stress and anxiety seems to amass due to those little digits.
Appointments, schedules, arrivals, departures, pick-ups, drop-offs, meetings, deadlines, meet-ups, events, special occasions...
[Internal thoughts] What if I forget? What if I'm late? What if I'm not prepared? What if I'm not well received? What if there's a problem? What if I fail?
A lot of the time I become so anxious that I'm unable to sleep the night before and usually pass out just mere hours or minutes before I'm supposed to get ready or be someplace. The result: I'm late, I miss the appointment all together, I become very angry at myself, and/or I become depressed and begin to withdraw from the world.
I don't know why I wrote this all down. I guess I just needed to get it out.