July 31st, 2002

WebCam Greg

Did you get in a fight with a lawnmower?

I couldn't stand it any longer. I had to get a haircut. Actually, I got them all cut.

I like the fuzzy caterpillar feeling on the back of my neck. The part I like most about getting a haircut is getting a shampoo. I always get a shampoo whether I need to or not. Just lying back and having someone run their fingers through my hair and massage my scalp is heaven. Even the warm water is soothing. I get so relaxed that I have to keep myself from falling asleep. ahhhhh.

hehe.

Tomorrow morning I will have forgotten that I have short hair, but will be reminded as soon as I apply gobs of shampoo on my head to wash my hair. The part I don't like is these little tiny hairs all over the inside of my shirt that keep poking me. I'm itchy.
  • Current Mood
    relaxed relaxed
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WebCam Greg

1-800-PSYCH

Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have a masochistic complex, please press "0" for the operator. There are 200 calls ahead of you.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
  • Tags
WebCam Greg

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

SCHIZOPHRENIA - Do You Hear What I Hear?

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY - We Three Queens Disoriented Are.

DEMENTIA - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas.

NARCISSISTIC - Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me)

MANIA - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town ...or Deck the Halls and Spare No Expense!

PARANOIA - Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me.

PERSONALITY DISORDER - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll tell you why.

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE - Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell...

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE - On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
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