There are a lot of different reasons floating through my head, but I can't seem to pin down a specific one.
- Feeling of isolation
- Feeling of loneliness
- Not wanting to personalize the walls
- Not feeling pride in the place
- Not having a feeling of belonging
Looking at this list shows a theme of depression. Maybe it's just depression that is making me feel like this is not a home, but we've lived here for many years. I can't see that depression has been the reason all this time. I guess it could be. Although I felt at home in the last place that we lived and I dealt with depression then.
I don't know. No answers seem to be forthcoming during this sleepless night.
Tags: bi-polar (manic-depression)
Current Mood: awake