Gregory Sare Landolt (gregoid) wrote,
Gregory Sare Landolt
gregoid

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According to Hollywood


  • The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you inside, and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.

  • You're likely to survive any battle of any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

  • All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

  • If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade at any time of the year.

  • All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

  • A detective can solve a case only when he has been suspended from duty.

  • Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

  • Any person waking from a nightmare will bolt upright and pant.

  • It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

  • When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill. Just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

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