I feel like I did 7 years ago. That is not good. I don't feel like doing anything. I'm constantly in a foul mood and I'm quick to anger and attack. I've been staying offline because I really don't want to get angry with my friends for no reason what so ever.
My relationship is in the toilet because of it. He needs much more than I can give him. He needs love and caring, and all I can offer is standoffish behavior and short conversations because I don't want to blow up at him for no reason what so ever. He doesn't deserve this, but what do I do? He needs to enjoy life, not get frustrated that I can't give him what he needs. Actually, I know what to do….
The last 3 days, I've found myself pulling away from everybody because I don't want to say something that will make that person hate me and go away. I've looked at lj once in the past 3 days. I'm withdrawing from the world and sleeping all day to avoid anybody here in real life. Every time the phone rings, I cringe. I hope that it isn’t for me and when I find out that it is, I begin to sweat and become anxious.
I see Dr. Fik on the 10th of October. He will get filled in on all that is happening.
Well, that's all for now. I will continue to post, but not every day. I don't see things improving that soon, and I don't want to post the same thing over and over.